What is ADHD & Us about?
ADHD & Us is a relationship guide for couples where one partner has adult ADHD and the other does not. It explains common conflict patterns in neurodiverse relationships and offers practical ways to communicate and work together more effectively.
Who wrote ADHD & Us?
ADHD & Us was written by Anita Robertson, LCSW. She is a psychotherapist who works with individuals and couples with ADHD.
How can ADHD & Us help a couple dealing with adult ADHD?
It helps couples understand why certain problems keep happening and how ADHD can affect communication, time management, emotions, memory, and household responsibilities. The book then gives strategies and exercises to help both partners respond differently.
Is this book for couples where only one partner has ADHD?
Yes. The book is specifically written for neurodiverse couples, meaning one partner has ADHD and the other does not.
What kinds of relationship problems does ADHD & Us cover?
It covers recurring issues like distraction, lateness, forgetfulness, clutter, emotional outbursts, criticism, resentment, and the parent-child dynamic. It also addresses how these patterns can build into toxic cycles if couples use strategies that do not work well for ADHD.
Does ADHD & Us explain why adult ADHD can affect relationships so much?
Yes. The book connects relationship stress to executive function challenges such as attention, organization and planning, working memory, emotional regulation, and self-control. It explains how these brain differences can lead partners to misunderstand each other.
What are the Five Relationship Pillars in ADHD & Us?
The Five Relationship Pillars are praise, acknowledgment, games, growth mindset, and positive acceptance. The book presents them as the foundation for creating a healthier, more supportive relationship for both partners.
Is ADHD & Us a workbook or just a relationship advice book?
It is a guide with workbook-style elements. The book includes exercises, activities, reflection prompts, and practical strategies for both partners to use together.
Are there exercises for both partners in ADHD & Us?
Yes. The book says there are activities for both partners, with exercises designed to strengthen the relationship and improve executive functioning skills.
How is ADHD & Us organized?
It starts with ADHD basics and an explanation of the Five Relationship Pillars, then moves through common relationship pain points chapter by chapter. Each chapter includes examples, strategies, exercises, and takeaways.
Does the book use real-life examples of ADHD relationships?
Yes. The book uses real-life examples to show how each partner may experience the same situation differently, with names and identifying details changed for confidentiality.
Can couples use ADHD & Us even if they are not in a crisis?
Yes. The book says you do not have to be stuck in a negative cycle before using its strategies. It is also meant to help couples spot common pitfalls early and build healthier habits before problems get worse.
Will ADHD & Us help with household conflict like mess, chores, and forgetting things?
Yes. Several chapters focus on everyday friction points such as clutter, unfinished tasks, forgetfulness, and uneven household responsibility. The book offers concrete strategies like task lists, schedules, labeled bins, reminders, and shared systems.
Does ADHD & Us talk about emotional outbursts and frequent fighting?
Yes. One chapter focuses on the emotional roller coaster that can happen in these relationships and gives tools for emotional regulation, boundaries, co-regulation, and repair after conflict.
Is ADHD & Us beginner-friendly for someone who is just learning about adult ADHD?
Yes. The first chapter introduces ADHD basics, executive functions, and common terms used throughout the book. It is designed to help couples build a shared understanding before moving into strategies.
Does this book replace therapy or professional ADHD treatment?
No. The book clearly says it is not a substitute for professional treatment or support. It is meant to educate couples and help them build understanding, empathy, and practical skills.
If we struggle with lateness, distraction, and miscommunication, is ADHD & Us a good fit?
Yes. Those are some of the main issues the book addresses. It includes specific chapters and strategies for time management, distraction, communication, and the misunderstandings that often come with adult ADHD.
