The Naked Roommate

ISBN: 9781492613329

By: Harlan Cohen

Published: 04/01/2015

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For 10 years (and counting), The Naked Roommate has been the #1 go-to guide for your very best college experience!

From sharing a bathroom with 40 strangers to sharing lecture notes, The Naked Roommate is your behind-the-scenes look at EVERYTHING you need to know about college (but never knew you needed to know).

This essential, fully updated edition is packed with real-life advice on everything from making friends to managing stress. Hilarious, outrageous, and telling stories from students on over 100 college campuses cover the basics, and then some, including topics on

College Living
•Dorm dos, don'ts, and dramas
•Lying, noisy, nasty roommates

Finding People, Places, & Patience
•Social network dos and don'ts
•Friend today, gone tomorrow

•To go or not to go?
•How to get an A, C, or F

•17 kinds of college hookups
•Long distance = BIG concerns

The Party Scene
•The punch in the "fruit punch"
•Sex, drugs, and safety first

•Grants, loans, and loose change
•Credit cards and campus jobs

In college, there's a surprise around every corner. Luckily, The Naked Roommate has you covered!


Table of Contents



Book Orientation: The Stuff before the Tips

Welcome Students

My Reason for Writing This Book

How This Book Was Written

The Sixth Edition: Toned, Leaner, and Fitter

Additional Resources

A Note to Parents

A Note to Educators

A Final Note to All Readers

First Page, First Tip, and First Days of College

Chapter 1
Arriving on Campus: So Real You Can Smell It, Touch It, and Taste It

1: Expect the Unexpected

2: Patience, Patience, and More Patience

3: Finding Your Three Places on Campus

3.5: The Five People in Your Corner

4: When Lost or Confused, Ask

5: Be Yourself: Not Me, Not Him, Not Her

6: About Your Parents…

7: Homesickness: Breathe Deep, It’s in the Air

8: Technology: The Fifth Wall

Harlan’s Tip Sheet

Chapter 2
Residence Halls: Living, Eating, and Bathing with Hundreds of Strangers

9: Residence Halls: A Cruise without the Water

10: Meet People without Even Trying

11: Resident Assistants: Your Personal Assistant

12: Not All Residence Halls Are Created Equal

13: The Ugly Side of Residential Life

Harlan’s Tip Sheet

Chapter 3
Roommates: Good Ones, Bad Ones, and Everything in Between

14: The Ultimate Roommate Rule

15: The Random Roommate

16: The Naked Roommate

17: The Best Friend Roommate

18: The Gay, Lesbian, or Bisexual Roommate (pick one)

19: The Noisy, Naughty, and/or Nasty Roommate

19.99: The Masturbating Roommate

20: The Your-Girlfriend/Boyfriend-Doesn’t-Live-Here Roommate

21: The Lying, Stealing, Klepto Roommate

22: The Drunk and/or High Roommate

23: The Roommate in Need

Harlan’s Tip Sheet

A Break to Warn You about Holiday Break

Chapter 4
Finding Friends: Your Social or Antisocial College Life

24: The Snow Globe Factor

25: Shopping for New Friends

26: Why College Friends Are Different

27: Friend Today, Gone Tomorrow

28: High School Friends, Cows, and Cats

Harlan’s Tip Sheet

Chapter 5
Getting Involved on Campus: An All-You-Can-Do Buffet

29: Getting Involved: What, Where, When, How, and Why (but not in that order)

30: Clubs and Organizations: A Smorgasbord of Opportunity

31: Sports and Athletics: Buckets of College Sweat

32: Academic Organizations: Where Smart People Gather

33: Religious Activities: Your Prayers Answered and the Culture Club (not Boy George)

34: The Perks: Travel and See the World for Free

Harlan’s Tip Sheet

Chapter 6
Greek Life: Behind the Doors, Windows, and Walls of Fraternity and Sorority Life

35: Greek Life: Getting In

36: Greek Life: The Good

37: Greek Life: The Bad

38: Greek Life: The Ugly

Harlan’s Tip Sheet

Chapter 7
Life Inside the Classroom: Assuming You Wake Up and Go to Class

39: To Go or Not to Go

40: Nice Professor, Nice Professor

41: How to Get an A (or almost an A)

42: How to Just Pass

43: How to Fail

44: The Cheat Sheet

45: The Art of Reading (or not reading) the College Textbook

46: Take Notes Here

47: Do It in a Group

48: Old Exams, Sharing Notes, and Mostly Legal Ways to Pass

49: The Major Issue: Picking One

50: Advice on Your Advisor

51: Pick a Number, Any Number

52: Time for Time Management (this will be fast!)

53: Wine Tasting, Bowling, and Other Important Electives

Harlan’s Tip Sheet

Chapter 8
Dating and Relationships: Your Higher Education in Lust, Love, and Loss

54: The Rules of College Love (or just lust)

55: The College Hookup

55.5: The Most Important Relationship

56: Close-Distance Relationships

57: Long-Distance Relationships (LDRs)

58: High School Bitter Sweethearts

59: Imaginary Relationships and Online Dating

60: The Friendly Relationship

61: Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual Relationships

62: Cheaters, Users, and Abusers

63: I Have No Life Other Than My Relationship

64: I Got Dumped and No Longer Have a Relationship

Harlan’s Tip Sheet

Chapter 9
Sex: Having It, Not Having It, Hearing Other People Having It

65: Deciding to Do It

66: Deciding Not to Do It

67: Doing It Way Too Much

68: The One-Night Stand

69: Pimps, Hos, and Reputations

70: Sexual Souvenirs

71: The U of Birth Control

72: Possibly Pregnant

Harlan’s Tip Sheet

Chapter 10
Drinking on Campus: Tapping the Keg of Truth

73: Drinking on Campus

74: Slow Down, Don’t Drink Too Fast

75: Not Everyone Is Drinking

76: The Social Lubricant

77: Safer Unsafe Sex and Alcohol

78: Sexual Assault and Alcohol

79: Don’t Be So Stupid That You Accidentally Kill Yourself

80: Drinking and Driving

81: Still Hungover…

82: You Might Be an Alcoholic If…

Harlan’s Tip Sheet

Chapter 11
Drugs on Campus: The Smoking, Snorting, and Pill-Popping Truth

83: About Drugs on Campus

84: How to Avoid Them

85: Why Not to Do Drugs

86: Just Don’t Accidentally Die

87: College Smoking Butts

Harlan’s Tip Sheet

Chapter 12
Money, Laundry, and Cheap Eats: Assuming You Have Enough Money to Eat and Do Laundry

88: Loans, Grants, Scholarships, and Loose Change

89: Your Financial Aid Advisor: Money, Money, Money, Monnnnneeey

90: Part-Time Jobs, Big-Time Benefits

91: The Credit Card and the $600 Candy Bar

92: Bad Checks, Bad Credit, and Bad Ideas…

93: Checking Out the College Checking Account

94: Sorry, This Book Is Now “Used”

95: Cheap Strategies for Eating (or barely eating)

96: Laundry Tips: This Page Is Not Fabric Softener

Harlan’s Tip Sheet

Chapter 13
Things Not Mentioned in the College Brochure: What They Don’t Tell You

97: The Freshman 15…Or, Um, 45

98: The Student Body Image

99: Exposing the College Eating Disorder

100: Depression and Other Major Mental Health Issues

101: Sexual Assault

102: To Transfer or Not to Transfer

103: Safe, Schmafe

104: Commuting? Words to Take with You

104.1: Community College: A Smart and Less Expensive Road

105: Diversity: Sexual, Religious, Racial—It’s All Good

Harlan’s Tip Sheet

Chapter 14
College: A Higher Education: It’s Almost Time to Say Good-bye

106: The U of No Regrets

107: Your Tip Goes Here

The Naked Rear End

About the Naked Author


Welcome to the first page, the first day of college, and my first tip.

There are a lot of firsts happening here—first time possibly away from home, first time possibly living with a strang


See More


“The Naked Roommate is a fun and helpful read for any student entering — or even wondering about — college.” - Santa Fe New Mexican


Format: Paperback

Length: 7 in
Width: 5 in
Weight: 0.00 oz
Page Count: 560 pages


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