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My Parent Has Cancer and It Really Sucks

ISBN: 9781402273070

By: Marc SilverMaya Silver

Published: 03/05/2013

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Description

Real-life advice from real-life teens
Currently one million American teenagers live with a parent who is fighting cancer. It’s a hard blow for those already navigating high school, preparing for college, and becoming increasingly independent. My Parent Has Cancer and It Really Sucks is the first book written especially for teens to help during this tough time.

Author Maya Silver was 15 when her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2001. She and her dad, Marc, have combined their family’s personal experience with advice from dozens of medical professionals and real stories from 100 teens--all going through the same thing Maya did.

In a highly designed, engaging style, this book gives practical guidance that includes:
• how to talk about the diagnosis (and what does diagnosis even mean, anyway?)
• the best outlets for stress (punching a wall is not a great one, but should it happen, there are instructions for a patch job)
• how to deal with friends (especially one the ones with ‘pity eyes’)
• whether to tell the teachers and guidance counselors and what they should know (how not to get embarrassed in class)
• what happens in a therapy session and how to find a support group if you want one

A special section for parents also gives tips on strategies for sharing the news, making sure your child doesn’t become the parent, what to do if the outlook is grim, and tips for how to live life after cancer.

My Parent Has Cancer and It Really Sucks allows teens to see that they are not alone. That no matter how rough things get, they will get through this difficult time. That everything they’re feeling is ok. Essays from Gilda Radner’s “Gilda’s Club” annual contest are an especially poignant and moving testimony of how other teens dealt with their family’s situation.

PRAISE FOR MY PARENT HAS CANCER AND IT REALLY SUCKS

“Wisely crafted into a wonderfully warm, engaging and informative book that reads like a chat with a group of friends with helpful advice from the experts.”
Paula K. Rauch MD, Director of the Marjorie E. Korff Parenting At a Challenging Time Program

“A must read for parents, kids, teachers and medical staff who know anyone with cancer. You will learn something on every page.”
Anna Gottlieb, MPA, Founder and CEO Gilda's Club Seattle

“This book is a ‘must have’ for oncologists, cancer treatment centers and families with teenagers.”
Kathleen McCue, MA, LSW, CCLS, Director of the Children’s Program at The Gathering Place, Cleveland, OH

“My Parent Has Cancer and It Really Sucks provides a much-needed toolkit for teens coping with a parent’s cancer. In this honest and heart-felt guide, Marc Silver and his daughter, Maya, present direct, no-nonsense and helpful advice.”
Jane Saccaro, CEO of Camp Kesem, a camp for children who have a parent with cancer

“Marc and Maya Silver have skillfully blended the voices of teens, parents and experts...This book is knowing, pragmatic, and attuned to the challenges of growing into one's self while having to attend to a parent's needs."
Barry J. Jacobs, Psy.D., clinical psychologist and author of The Emotional Survival Guide for Caregivers

“A valuable resource for teenagers and their families.”
Seth Berkowitz, LCSW, CCLS, Patient Services Manager, Southern Florida Chapter of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society

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Table of Contents

CONTENTS

Introduction

Chapter 1 THE NEWS

1.1 A Hunch

1.2 Why Your Parents Told You the Way They Did

1.3 Why You Reacted the Way You Did

1.4 A Charged Word

Chapter 2 CANCER 101

2.1 The Big Question Marks

2.2 Treatments and Their Side Effects

2.3 The Cure: Why Isn’t There One Yet?

2.4 True or False

2.5 Tell Me More!

Chapter 3 LET’S TALK: HOW TO KEEP YOUR FAMILY COMMUNICATION LINES WIDE OPEN

3.1 How Much Do You Want to Know?

3.2 What If You’re Out of the Loop?

3.3 Reality Check: How Far in the Know Can You Go?

3.4 How to Keep Talking…Even If It’s in Writing

Chapter 4 HOW THINGS WILL CHANGE DURING CANCER

4.1 Teenage Change Is Normal!

4.2 Cancer Sneaking Up on You

4.3 Changes to Expect

4.4 Changes in Your Parent

4.5 Siblings

Chapter 5 PARENTIFICATION

5.1 How It Happens

5.2 Catching a Break

5.3 Silence Isn’t Golden

5.4 The Big Picture

Chapter 6 DEALING WITH STRESS

6.1 How to Beat the Cancer Blues

6.2 Exploring the Options

Chapter 7 RISKY BUSINESS

7.1 Former Bad Boys: Gary and Jose Turn It Around

7.2 Former Bad Girls: True Confessions

Chapter 8 THE POWER (AND THE LIMITS) OF OPTIMISM AND FAITH

8.1 Think Positive

8.2 Faith and Spirituality

Chapter 9 THE BENEFIT OF FRIENDS

9.1 What You Do (and Don’t) Want from Your Friends

9.2 Girls Are from Mercury, Boys Are from Neptune

9.3 Accepting Help

9.4 Have Fun with Your Friends If You Can

9.5 But Can They Still Come Over?

9.6 Social Networks: Facebook, Twitter, Blogs, and More

9.7 Dealing with Friend Problems

9.8 New Friends

Chapter 10 SCHOOL DAZE

10.1 School = More Stress or a Place to Escape?

10.2 To Announce or Not to Announce

10.3 Telling the School

10.4 How the School Can Help

10.5 Dilemmas, Dilemmas

10.6 Keeping Grades Up

10.7 The Need to Achieve

10.8 Pulling a Bueller

Chapter 11 SEEKING SUPPORT

11.1 The Adult Who Knows You

11.2 Seeing a Therapist

11.3 Group Support

Chapter 12 FACING A DIRE PROGNOSIS

12.1 Facing the News

12.2 How Long Do We Have?

12.3 When the Bad News Isn’t All Bad

12.4 Finding Hope When Things Seem Hopeless

12.5 Living for the Moment

12.6 A Different Kind of Hope

12.7 What If You Feel Closer to the Parent with Cancer?

12.8 Avoidance

12.9 Making Memories

Chapter 13 LOSING A PARENT TO CANCER

13.1 A Dictionary of Emotions

13.2 Mourning Doesn’t Come with an Expiration Date

13.3 All Kinds of Questions

13.4 Life Goes On

13.5 Dealing with Your Emotions

13.6 School Can Be a Comfort…or a Pain

13.7 Music Can Make It Better

13.8 Staying Connected

Chapter 14 THE NEW NORMAL: LIFE AFTER CANCER

14.1 What Happens Now?

14.2 New Normal Hiccups and Surprises

14.3 Struggling in the Aftermath

14.4 Becoming an Activist

14.5 Same Old You

14.6 Silver Linings

Appendix A THE CAMP FOR KIDS COPING WITH A PARENT’S CANCER

Appendix B IN THEIR OWN WORDS

Appendix C THE PARENTS’ GUIDE

Appendix D RESOURCES

Acknowledgments

About the Authors

Excerpt

From the Introduction:

We hope that the voices in this book create a community of support to give you strength as you deal with your parent’s cancer. Because if you ca

...

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Reviews



“For teens dealing with a parent’s cancer and who might feel as though no one understands what they’re going through ... This is the book for librarians to recommend to students in t...

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Specs

Format: Paperback

Dimensions
Length: 8.25 in
Width: 5.5 in
Weight: 10.80 oz
Page Count: 272 pages

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