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Case for Falling in Love

ISBN: 9781402250804

By: Mari Ruti

Published: 02/08/2011

Are you tired of reading book after book and playing game after game, trying to avoid heartbreak?

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eBook PDF
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Read the PDF on your Sony Reader, Nook, Kobo, iPhone, iPod Touch, or iPad (through the free Bluefire Reader app); or Computer.

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$21.99

Description

Praise for The Case for Falling in Love

“Why play ‘hard to get’ when you can just get what you want? Mari Ruti’s lively research, from Plato to Freud to Gossip Girl to her own bedroom, finally puts an end to playing games, and provides a resource for lovers and the love-scorned alike. A must-read for anyone who has ever fallen in love, wants to, or wants to know what went wrong.”
—Arianne Cohen, creator of TheSexDiariesProject.com

“At last, a relationship advice book that will actually work. If you’re intelligent, interested in love, and like a book you can’t put down, this is it. John Gray, move over. The brilliant Mari Ruti has arrived.”
—Juliet Schor, professor of sociology, Boston College, and author of Born to Buy and Plenitude: The New Economics of True Wealth

“Groundbreaking…Ruti opens the eyes of her readers so that they can love better…A must-read.”
—Nancy Redd, New York Times bestselling author of Body Drama

“Finally, a book that takes love seriously. Written with passion and verve…I wish I had read this book years ago!”
—Sean Carroll, author of From Eternity to Here: The Quest for the Ultimate Theory of Time

Are you tired of reading book after book and playing game after game, trying to avoid heartbreak? It seems impossible, and maybe that’s because you can’t lock up your heart like that—not if you want the real thing. And maybe that’s one of the best things about love.

We’ve been thinking about it all wrong. Our culture’s insistence that women need to learn how to catch and keep a man is actually doing much more harm than good. The more we try to manipulate our relationships, the less we are truly able to experience love’s benefits and wonders.

Love is a slippery, unruly thing, and trying to control and manage it robs us of its delicious unpredictability.

Sure, letting go of the reins a bit might mean a broken heart, but heartbreak, in fact, offers a wealth of possibilities—creativity, wisdom, and growth—that we need in order to make the most of our lives.

Liberating for women who are frustrated by the idea that they just need to learn the right “formula,” The Case for Falling in Love shows that there isn’t a method to mastering the madness of love. But that might be exactly what’s so wonderful about it.

About the Author

Mari Ruti Ph.D.

Mari Ruti was educated at Brown, Harvard, and the University of Paris. After finishing her Harvard doctorate in 2000, she spent four years as assistant director of the university’s program for the Study of Women, Gender, and Sexuality. She is currently associate professor of critical theory at the University of Toronto English Department, where she teaches contemporary theory, continental philosophy, psychoanalysis, gender studies, and popular culture. Ruti is the author of two academic books: Reinventing the Soul: Posthumanist Theory and Psychic Life and A World of Fragile Things: Psychoanalysis and the Art of Living. She splits her time between Toronto, the East Coast, and Maui.

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Table of Contents

Contents

Acknowledgments ix
Introduction xi

Part I Changing How We Think about Men and Women 1

Chapter 1 Saving the Soul of Love 3
Chapter 2 Men Who Ask for Directions Make Better Lovers27
Chapter 3 Bad Science Can’t Tell Us a Damn Thing about Love 49
Chapter 4 For Better Romantic Advice, Watch Gossip Girl 73
Chapter 5 Modern Cinderella’s Look beyond the Prince’s Ball 93
Chapter 6 Why Playing Hard to Get Won’t Work 113

Part II Changing How We Think about Love and Romance 131

Chapter 7 It’s All about the Thing 133
Chapter 8 Seeing the Extraordinary within the Ordinary 153
Chapter 9 Breaking the Patterns of Pain171
Chapter 10 A Love Failure Is Not a Life Failure 191
Chapter 11 Mourning Well Is Living Well209
Chapter 12 What Is Meant to Happen Always Will 227
Conclusion: The Line in the Sand 245
Notes 257
About the Author 271

Excerpt

Introduction

Myth: Learning to read the male psyche leads to romantic success.
Fact: There’s no such thing as the male psyche.

I got the idea for this book fro

...

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Reviews



“We're obsessed with this new book by Mari Ruti Ph.D., in which she argues against popular relationship advice that encourages women to change and/or follow certain "rules of conduct" in ord...

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Specs

Format: Hardcover

Dimensions
Length: 8.5 in
Width: 5.5 in
Weight: 16.88 oz
Page Count: 304 pages

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