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Anxious to Please

ISBN: 9781402206528

By: James RapsonCraig English

Published: 04/01/2006

Millions of people suffer from Chronic Niceness.

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Description

Do you (or does someone you know)… --Apologize frequently or for things you are not responsible for? --Get preoccupied with what other people think of you? --Become unhappy when your partner isn't happy? --Feel worried or fretful so often it seems normal? --Often not know what you want? --Constantly second-guess yourself? Chronic Niceness affects multitudes, causing severe anxiety and depression, crippling self-esteem, and undermining and destroying relationships Anxious to Please reveals the primary psychological cause of Chronic Niceness--Anxious Attachment. Anxious Attachment drives the Nice Person to accommodate, acquiesce and avoid conflict. Nice People take what they're given rather than asking for what they want, often sacrificing relationship, careers and their own integrity. Anxious to Please presents seven powerful practices designed to bring about: resilient self-esteem; a happier and calmer emotional life; a reality-based optimism for the future; fulfilling sex; and satisfying relationships.

About the Author

Craig English

James Rapson, M.S., LMFT, is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, the U.S. Association of Body Psychoterapists, and the Center for Object Relations in Seattle. Mr. Rapson is a veteran therapist who combines hard-won personal insight with clinical experience and scholarship. The journey of healing and growth in his own life has been greatly amplified by the courageous men and women with whom he has the privilege to work. Mr. Rapson's focus on human connection, coupled with his penchant for innovation, has led him to develop programs such as Group of Dads, Couples in Motion, and The Shared Vision Project. James' collaboration with Craig has led to the development of numerous seminars, workshops, and classes. An avid learner, James draws from a diverse background that includes early career forays in the worlds of music, software engineering, theater, and religion, as well as even earlier exploits on the football field and wrestling mat. These days his wrestling is mostly limited to matters of the mind and heart, though he continues ot play piano, write poetry, and take the occasional raft trip down a northwest river. He has a private practice in Bellevue, Washington. Craig English, M.F.A., is an award-winning writer with extensive experience in both nonfiction and fiction. He is founder of the much-published "Commoners" writing group in Seattle, Washington. A dynamic lecturer, teacher, and workshop leader, he draws from the wisdom traditions of both East and West to deliver a message that is warm, tough, funny, and poignant. Mr. English performed as a professional actor for twenty-five years, with numerous credits on stage, television, and radio. He has cofounded such diverse projects as a groundbreaking Montessori middle school and a highly-regarded Shakespearean theater comapny. Among his interests, Craig counts hiking, kayaking, skiing, drinking tea, cooking, reading, and laughing. Craig and James first met in 1965 on a grade school playground in Santa Barbara, California, and discovered that they shared a similar offbeat sense of humor. They have marked the stages of life together with comic books and ping-pong marathons, dreams of kissing the perfect girl and becoming rock stars, college hijinks and geographical relocations, through buying homes, raising children, and earning some gray hairs along the way. They are, forty years later, still best friends.

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Table of Contents

Contents

Introduction: An Epidemic of Nice People

Section One: Nice Peope
Chapter One: How to Make a Nice Person: The Enduring Effects of Anxious Attachment
Chapter Two: A Natural History of the Nice Person
Chapter Three: Pedestals, Altars, and Gilded Cages

Section Two: The 7 Practices
Chapter Four: Awareness Practice
Chapter Five: Desert Practice
Chapter Six: Warrior Practice
Chapter Seven: Brotherhood and Sisterhood Practice
Chapter Eight: Family Practice
Chapter Nine: Disillusionment Pracitce
Chapter Ten: Integration Practice

Section Three: Romantic Relationships
Chapter Eleven: The Transforming Relationship
Chapter Twelve: Creative Conflict
Chapter Thirteen: Union
Chapter Fourteen: Stand by Your Transforming Man or Woman

Epilogue
Index
About the Authors

Excerpt

Excerpt from Chapter 1
How to Make a Nice Person: The Enduring Effects of Anxious Attachment

Take a puppy away from his mother, place him alone in a wicker pen, and you will witness the univ...

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Specs

Format: Paperback

Dimensions
Length: 8 in
Width: 6 in
Weight: 10.00 oz
Page Count: 240 pages

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