Full Description

Groomology

What Every Smart Groom Needs to Know

The ring's on her finger, her to-do list is growing, and her mood is frantic. What's a groom to do? Let Groomology show him how becoming a partner in the wedding process can make the whole event more enjoyable, meaningful, and memorable. Time and time again, soon-to-be husbands only tackle what the bride-to-be has told them to do. Groomology outlines these traditional groom's duties but goes a step further to instruct grooms in the art of getting involved.

Grooms Will Learn The Best Strategies For A Happy Bride, Including:

• Being Sensitive To the Bride's Needs and Worries
• Taking Over Tasks the Bride Doesn't Want
• Understanding How Much Work Goes Into It All
• Reducing Her Stress
• Giving an Opinion
• Letting Go of an Opinion
• Being Creative
• The One Thing He Needs to Do
• The Benefit of Venting
• When Doing More Is Less

Complete with helpful resources, a guide to bridal party responsibilities and etiquette, tips on hiring vendors, wedding statistics, and more, Groomology is sure to keep couples happy throughout the tricky planning process.

Bonus: Including 100 romantic ways to reduce planning stress!

Table of Contents

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments
Introduction
Chapter 1: Gearing Up
Chapter 2: The Prenuptial Landscape
Chapter 3: Respecting and Revising Tradition
Chapter 4: The Big Stuff
Chapter 5: The Finer Details
Chapter 6: The Other To-Do List
Chapter 7: One Month Before the Wedding
Chapter 8: The Wedding Day
Commencement

Excerpt

Excerpt

Excerpt from Chapter 1: Gearing Up

Why Shopping for Candles Could Save the Day
After you make a thoughtful assessment of the process to come, begin to formulate an initial game plan. What should you do first?

Although it's imperative to gain as much insight as possible from wedding guides, books, and magazines, in the end, only so much of your preparation can come from printed resources. The time has finally come for you to venture out into the real world all by yourself.

Indeed, there's never been a more appropriate time to take a drive. Hit your local wedding boutiques, formal wear outfitters, retail outlets, novelty shops, and anyplace else you can find wedding stuff. You may be tempted to bring your fiancé, but you can't—at least not this time. Why? Because you need to keep distractions to a minimum when you're trying to study. And that's exactly what this expedition is about—studying.

You're not going to buy anything. You're not going to book anything. Chances are, you're not even going to touch anything. What you will do for certain, though, is learn a great deal about wedding products on the market.

All around the world, weddings are big business, not to mention being a magnet for suckers with a non-prioritized budget.

Take one box of unscented white tea lights, for example. In most places, you can get a set of one hundred for five bucks. But add the word "wedding" to the packaging of those same little candles, and watch the price balloon to ten bucks for a set of fifty.

A high priority on your fledgling to-do list should be taking a drive to four or five wedding-related stores in your neck of the woods, a task that should consume no more than a single morning or afternoon. Soak it all in. Take note of the options available. You probably had no idea that so many products and possibilities are out there. And even though you may initially find yourself bewitched, bothered, and bewildered by the sheer volume of crap you find dominating your window-shopping, the truth of the matter is that this private little rendezvous will make you a much savvier, informed groom.

The results of this field trip will prove far reaching. In no time at all, you'll find yourself in a better position to bounce creative ideas off your bride and even answer questions better than she may be able to. Best of all, you now can be trusted in her eyes to venture back into the wedding market to run errands now that she's aware that you're a bit wiser for the wear. Obviously, gaining her faith in your abilities to help plan the wedding is a significant step in reducing her overall stress.

When Doing More Is Less
By now, you're probably feeling quite the stud. You're informed, you're in touch, and you're seemingly in command of the challenges ahead.

Nonetheless, avoid the urge to fill your plate with things to do. You may be tempted to knock out all the planning in a flurry of activity, and then just relax the last six months before your wedding. A preferable alternative is to pace yourself throughout the planning stages. Don't forget, no matter how astute you may think you are now, both you and your bride will still botch something between now and the wedding; it may be trivial or it may be calamitous. By not getting too far ahead of yourself, you can assure that a minor disaster doesn't become a major one or have a domino effect on other elements of your plans you rushed through just to convince yourself you're somehow ahead of the game.

In every phase of the process unfolding before you, take small steps. Even for the involved groom, no matter how you cut it, the bride is still going to have more work and stress than you can ever imagine. Don't overload yourself to the point where you become unavailable to do your most important job—help the bride when she gets overloaded.

Weddings Are a Team Sport
For whatever reason, many men believe it is contrary to the nature of a smart, self-sufficient groom to have to double check with his bride if it's "all right" to do something. Whether it's surprising the bride by booking wedding flowers all by yourself or selecting the men's attire without any discussion, such gung-ho behavior has a huge potential for backfiring.

Even if you're taking charge in the planning process, it's absolutely imperative that you take nothing for granted. It may seem counterproductive to call your bride on her cell phone to check with her each time you make a purchase or spur-of-the-moment decision you assume she will agree with. Put that notion out of your head immediately. The potential reward of taking something for granted and getting it right is not worth the risk of getting it wrong.

When it comes down to making important decisions on the spot, even ones placed squarely in your court, don't assume anything. Doing things on your own is in no way the same as doing things about which she is unaware. Being entrenched in the planning of your wedding does not give you bridal immunity. It is always a good idea to check in with your fiancé to ensure you're both on the same page about product selection, service bookings, or any other arrangement, small or substantial. Believe me, she won't be annoyed with a call to check that whatever you're about to decide is desirable to her and appropriate for your wedding. In fact, she will probably appreciate it tremendously.

Reviews

Reviews

The Times Philip Potempa
Booked again

According to the U.S. Census, 2.3 million couples marry each year.

That should amount to a lot of potential book sales for readers looking for a book that gives the guy’s side to planning the perfect wedding.

At least, that’s what talk show host-turned-author Michael Essany is counting on for his latest career equation.

His newest book is called "Groomology" (2009 Sourcebooks, Inc. $10.99) and it hits stores on April 7.

As his Chicago-based publicist Carrie Gellin describes it to me: "It’s the perfect guide for the groom who shuns condescending tips in favor of real ideas on how to be a partner in creating the wedding."

"Time and time again, soon-to-be husbands only tackle what the bride-to-be has told them to do and will not take a step further," she explained.

"Michael proves that sharing the process of creating a wedding can make the whole event more enjoyable, meaningful and memorable."

Essany describes this new book, his fourth, as "the scientific study of grooms who have been groomed for success, with readers learning what every smart soon-to-be husband needs to know," including:

* Being sensitive to the bride’s needs and worries

* Reducing her stress

* Being creative

* Giving an opinion and letting go of an opinion

And of course, there’s also a dose of Essany’s trademark dry, wry wit.

For example, here’s his "Top Five Ways Grooms Can Avoid Encountering Bridezilla"

1. Express an interest in napkin rings, favors, flowers and details of that nature.

2. Turn into a "talk show host" type and strive for communication. Jerry Springer never gets yelled at by Bridezilla.

3. It isn’t rocket science. A thoughtful surprise on a consistent basis goes a long way. Pamper her and cook her dinner and a thoughtful surprise just might come your way.

4.?Remember, it’s your day, too. Just be ready to ditch your ideas if they are A) proved inappropriate B) proven wrong or C) proven to upset your bride.

5. Patience is pivotal. Listen to rants. Savvy grooms always lend a willing, empathetic ear to their brides’ outbursts. "I know honey. How could your maid of honor wear the same nail polish color as you?"

* NOTE: And if all else fails, make sure your honeymoon plans can smooth over all your mistakes you made as a groom.

Essany, who married his Valparaiso University sweetheart Christa Hanrath in June 2007, said the book was timed to publish in April just in time for last-minute planning for traditional June weddings.

The opinions expressed are solely those of the writer. He can be reached at philip.potempa@nwi.com or 219.852.4327.

Post-Tribune Bob Kostanczuk
Essany’s book steers grooms from ’Bridezilla’

Michael Essany has faded from the talk-show world, but he still has something to say.
The former teen wunderkind from the Valparaiso area is writing books.

Tackling the world of wedding planning, Essany is offering "Groomology" ($10.99; Sourcebooks, Naperville, Ill.). Scheduled for a Tuesday, April 7, release, the breezy book supplies grooms with tips along these lines:

• Express an interest in napkin rings, favors and other such details.

• Leave your comfort zone: Attend bridal shows.

• If all else fails, make sure your honeymoon plans can smooth over all your mistakes.

Essany’s literary effort attempts — with humor — to provide guys with advice on how to become a real partner in mapping out a wedding.

"When I got married, I found a lot of humor in the frustration that was born of trying to be a helpful groom," the 26-year-old author said. "Much of the content in this book was derived from my own personal experience. I’m kind of a details guy. I really wanted to take a lot of the pressure off of my fiancee. In doing that, I made a lot of mistakes — and I learned from it."

Essany’s wife is Christa. They married in June 2007.

That was after the national limelight had dimmed for Essany, a Porter County kid who turned a home-based, Johnny Carson-like cable show into his own reality series on the E! channel. Debuting in prime time in March 2003, "The Michael Essany Show" made the host an off-center celebrity. Essany was profiled in TV?Guide. He appeared twice on Jay Leno’s "Tonight Show."

Teen People magazine touted him as one of the "20 Teens Who Will Change the World."

Television is no longer a hot realm for Essany, but the Valpo-area guy is making some headway as an author. Prior to "Groomology," Essany released "Reality Check," his own take on the reality-TV business.

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Trade Paper Specfications

• Length: 7.00 in
• Width: 5.00 in
• Height: 0.00 in
• Weight: 7.00 oz
• Page Count: 192 pages